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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Fanny's First Play"

I dont want any whisky and soda. I'll take the pledge if you
like.
MRS KNOX. No: you shall have your beer because you like it. The
whisky was only brag. And if you and me are to remain friends, Mr
Gilbey, youll get up to-morrow morning at seven.
GILBEY. [defiantly] Damme if I will! There!
MRS KNOX. [with gentle pity] How do you know, Mr Gilbey, what
youll do to-morrow morning?
GILBEY. Why shouldnt I know? Are we children not to be let do what
we like, and our own sons and daughters kicking their heels all over
the place? [To Knox] I was never one to interfere between man and
wife, Knox; but if Maria started ordering me about like that--
MRS GILBEY. Now dont be naughty, Rob. You know you mustnt set
yourself up against religion?
GILBEY. Whos setting himself up against religion?
MRS KNOX. It doesnt matter whether you set yourself up against it or
not, Mr. Gilbey. If it sets itself up against you, youll have to go
the appointed way: it's no use quarrelling about it with me that am
as great a sinner as yourself.
GILBEY. Oh, indeed! And who told you I was a sinner?
MRS GILBEY. Now, Rob, you know we are all sinners. What else is
religion?
GILBEY. I say nothing against religion. I suppose were all sinners,
in a manner of speaking; but I dont like to have it thrown at me as if
I'd really done anything.
MRS GILBEY. Mrs Knox is speaking for your good, Rob.
GILBEY. Well, I dont like to be spoken to for my good.


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