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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Fanny's First Play"

_Trop merci_, as they say in Boulogne. No call to be stiff
with one another, have we?
_Juggins comes in._
JUGGINS. Beg pardon, sir. Mr and Mrs Gilbey are coming up the
street.
DORA. Let me absquatulate [making for the door].
JUGGINS. If you wish to leave without being seen, you had better step
into my pantry and leave afterwards.
DORA. Right oh! [She bursts into song]
Hide me in the meat safe til the cop goes by.
Hum the dear old music as his step draws nigh.
[She goes out on tiptoe].
MARGARET. I wont stay here if she has to hide. I'll keep her company
in the pantry. [She follows Dora].
BOBBY. Lets all go. We cant have any fun with the Mar here. I say,
Juggins: you can give us tea in the pantry, cant you?
JUGGINS. Certainly, sir.
BOBBY. Right. Say nothing to my mother. You dont mind, Mr.
Doovalley, do you?
DUVALLET. I shall be charmed.
BOBBY. Right you are. Come along. [At the door] Oh, by the way,
Juggins, fetch down that concertina from my room, will you?
JUGGINS. Yes, sir. [Bobby goes out. Duvallet follows him to the
door]. You understand, sir, that Miss Knox is a lady absolutely
_comme il faut_?
DUVALLET. Perfectly. But the other?
JUGGINS. The other, sir, may be both charitably and accurately
described in your native idiom as a daughter of joy.
DUVALLET. It is what I thought. These English domestic interiors are
very interesting. [He goes out, followed by Juggins].


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