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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Fanny's First Play"


BOBBY. [much ruffled] Nice language that!
DORA. Well, dearie, men have to do some awfully mean things to keep
up their respectability. But you cant blame them for that, can you?
Ive met Bobby walking with his mother; and of course he cut me dead.
I wont pretend I liked it; but what could he do, poor dear?
MARGARET. And now he wants me to cut you dead to keep him in
countenance. Well, I shant: not if my whole family were there. But
I'll cut him dead if he doesnt treat you properly. [To Bobby, with a
threatening move in his direction] I'll educate you, you young
beast.
BOBBY. [furious, meeting her half way] Who are you calling a young
beast?
MARGARET. You.
DORA. [peacemaking] Now, dearies!
BOBBY. If you dont take care, youll get your fat head jolly well
clouted.
MARGARET. If you dont take care, the policeman's tooth will only be
the beginning of a collection.
DORA. Now, loveys, be good.
_Bobby, lost to all sense of adult dignity, puts out his tongue at
Margaret. Margaret, equally furious, catches his protended
countenance a box on the cheek. He hurls himself her. They wrestle._
BOBBY. Cat! I'll teach you.
MARGARET. Pig! Beast! [She forces him backwards on the table].
Now where are you?
DORA. [calling] Juggins, Juggins. Theyll murder one another.
JUGGINS. [throwing open the door, and announcing] Monsieur
Duvallet.
_Duvallet enters. Sudden cessation of hostilities, and dead silence.


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