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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Fanny's First Play"

As this is a high-class sort of thing,
the first man I went for was Trotter.
THE COUNT. Oh indeed. I am very glad you have secured Mr Trotter. I
have read his Playful Impressions.
SAVOYARD. Well, I was rather in a funk about him. Hes not exactly
what I call approachable; and he was a bit stand-off at first. But
when I explained and told him your daughter--
THE COUNT. [interrupting in alarm] You did not say that the play
was by her, I hope?
SAVOYARD. No: thats been kept a dead secret. I just said your
daughter has asked for a real play with a real author and a real
critic and all the rest of it. The moment I mentioned the daughter I
had him. He has a daughter of his own. Wouldnt hear of payment!
Offered to come just to please her! Quite human. I was surprised.
THE COUNT. Extremely kind of him.
SAVOYARD. Then I went to Vaughan, because he does music as well as
the drama: and you said you thought there would be music. I told him
Trotter would feel lonely without him; so he promised like a bird.
Then I thought youd like one of the latest sort: the chaps that go
for the newest things and swear theyre oldfashioned. So I nailed
Gilbert Gunn. The four will give you a representative team. By the
way [looking at his watch] theyll be here presently.
THE COUNT. Before they come, Mr Savoyard, could you give me any hints
about them that would help me to make a little conversation with them?
I am, as you said, rather out of it in England; and I might
unwittingly say something tactless.


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