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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Fanny's First Play"


THE COUNT. She seems quite satisfied. She tells me that the actors
you sent down are perfectly suited to their parts, and very nice
people to work with. I understand she had some difficulties at the
first rehearsals with the gentleman you call the producer, because he
hadnt read the play; but the moment he found out what it was all about
everything went smoothly.
SAVOYARD. Havnt you seen the rehearsals?
THE COUNT. Oh no. I havnt been allowed even to meet any of the
company. All I can tell you is that the hero is a Frenchman
[Savoyard is rather scandalized]: I asked her not to have an
English hero. That is all I know. [Ruefully] I havnt been
consulted even about the costumes, though there, I think, I could have
been some use.
SAVOYARD. [puzzled] But there arnt any costumes.
THE COUNT. [seriously shocked] What! No costumes! Do you mean to
say it is a modern play?
SAVOYARD. I dont know: I didnt read it. I handed it to Billy
Burjoyce--the producer, you know--and left it to him to select the
company and so on. But I should have had to order the costumes if
there had been any. There wernt.
THE COUNT. [smiling as he recovers from his alarm] I understand.
She has taken the costumes into her own hands. She is an expert in
beautiful costumes. I venture to promise you, Mr Savoyard, that what
you are about to see will be like a Louis Quatorze ballet painted by
Watteau. The heroine will be an exquisite Columbine, her lover a
dainty Harlequin, her father a picturesque Pantaloon, and the valet
who hoodwinks the father and brings about the happiness of the lovers
a grotesque but perfectly tasteful Punchinello or Mascarille or
Sganarelle.


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