But tonight, when I take the
greatest step and claim her as mine till our lives' end, she
yields with the complaisance of an ignorant child and raises up
between us the barrier of her innocence. When shall I learn the
soul of her?
Well, _jacta est alea_. The events of to-night have precipitated
our destiny. In all probability Hamdi is powerless to take her
from my protection, and this marriage is unnecessary as a
safeguard. I have no notion of the international law on such
points--but at any rate it will make the assurance of her safety
absolute. No power on earth can take her from me. Great Heaven!
The thought of her gone forever out of my life brings the cold
sweat to my forehead. Without her, child, enchantress,
changeling that she is, how could I face existence?
I shall have my heart's desire. Why, I should be athrill with
the joy and the flame of youth! I should laugh and sing! I
should perform the happy antics of love's exuberance! I should
be transported to the realms where the fairy tales end!
Instead, I sit before a dying fire, as I sat last night, and am
oppressed with the sense of tragedy.
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