The result was explosion. I made
a step forward with raised hands and my aunt recoiled in alarm.
"By heaven!" I cried, "I would give the soul out of my body to
marry her!"
And I stumbled out of the house like a blind man.
From that moment of dazzling revelation till now I have nursed
this infinite desire. To say that I love Carlotta is to express
Niagara in terms of a fountain. I crave her with everything
vital in heart and brain. She is an obsession. The scent of her
hair is in my nostrils, the cooing dove-notes of her voice murmur
in my ears, I shut my eyes and feel the rose-petals of her lips
on my cheek, the witchery of her movements dances before my eyes.
I cannot live without her. Until to-day the house was desolate
enough--a ghostly shell of a habitation. Henceforward, without
her my very life will be void. My heart has been crying for her
these two weeks and I knew it not. Now I know. I could stand on
my balcony and lift up my hands toward the south where she
abides, and lift up my voice, and cry for her passionately aloud.
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