I may not get the calm I desire, but
at any rate my existence shall not be turned upside down by mad
passion for a woman. As for the social-contract aspect of
marriage, I want no better housekeeper than Antoinette; and my
dining-table having no guests does not need a lady to grace its
foot; I have no _a priori_ craving to add to the population. "If
children were brought into the world by an act of pure reason
alone," says Schopenhauer, "would the human race continue to
exist? Would not a man rather have so much sympathy with the
coming generation as to spare it the burden of existence? or at
any rate not take it upon himself to impose that burden upon it
in cold blood?" By bringing children into the world by means of
a marriage of convenience I should be imposing the burden of
existence upon them in cold blood. I agree with Schopenhauer.
And the dreadful bond of such a marriage! To have in the closest
physical and moral propinquity for one hundred and eighty-six
hours out of the week, each hour surcharged with an obligatory
exchange of responsibilities, interests, sacrifices of every
kind, a being who is not the utter brother of my thoughts and
sister of my dreams--no, never! _Au grand non, au grand jamais!_
Judith is an incomparable woman, but she is not the utter brother
of my thoughts and the sister of my dreams; nor am I of hers.
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