When my fortune came, she remarked, "I am glad I am not free. If
I were, you would want to marry me, and that would be fatal."
The divine, sound sense of the dear woman! Honour would compel
the offer. Its acceptance would bring disaster.
Marriage has two aspects. The one, a social contract, a _quid_
of protection, maintenance, position and what not, for a _quo_ of
the various services that may be conveniently epitomized in the
phrase _de mensa et thoro_. The other, the only possible
existence for two beings whose passionate, mutual attraction
demands the perfect fusion of their two existences into a common
life. Now to this passionate attraction I have never become,
and, having no temperament (thank Heaven!), shall never become, a
party. Before the turbulence therein involved I stand affrighted
as I do before London or the deep sea. I once read an epitaph in
a German churchyard: "I will awake, O Christ, when thou callest
me; but let me sleep awhile, for I am very weary." Has the human
soul ever so poignantly expressed its craving for quietude? I
fancy I should have been a heart's friend of that dead man, who,
like myself, loved the cool and quiet shadow, and was not allowed
to enjoy it in this world.
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