In
a very short time his income was multiplied by ten. The usual results
followed. The happy home in Balham was given up. "People about here,"
said DABCHICK, "are such poor snobs"--and a more ornate mansion in
South Kensington was taken in its stead. The old friends and the
old habits were dropped. JOHNNY DABCHICK was sent to Eton with an
immoderate allowance of pocket-money, and was promptly christened
"PEKOE" by his schoolfellows. Mrs. DABCHICK rides in a huge landau
with blue wheels, and leaves cards on the fringes of the aristocracy.
DABCHICK himself aspires to Parliament, and never keeps the same
circle of friends for more than about six months. He knows one shady
Viscount to whom rumour asserts that he has lent immense sums of
Guatemalan money, and the approach of a Marquis makes him palpitate
with emotion. But he is a profoundly miserable man. Of that I am
assured. It amuses me when I meet him in pompous society to address
him lightly as "DAB," and remind him of the dear old Balham days, and
the huge amount of bird's-eye we used to smoke together. For his motto
now is, "_Delenda est Balhamia_"--I speak of course figuratively--and
half-crown havannahs have usurped the place of the honest briar.
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