* * *
American whisky is said to create in consumers a desire to climb trees.
British whisky, on the other hand, seems to create in the Americans a
desire to cross the Atlantic.
* * *
With reference to the road-mender who fell down last week and injured
himself an explanation has now been given. It appears that the colleague
next to him must have moved.
* * *
No fewer than twenty-seven poems on Spring have been received by one weekly
paper editor. Yet there are people who still maintain that the crime wave
is on the wane.
* * *
"The Irish swear by two staple beverages," says _The Daily Mail_. We feel,
however, that an Irishman who was really trying could swear by more than
this.
* * *
We understand that the Foreign Office takes a serious view of the large
number of public-houses which have been burgled during the last few weeks.
It is feared that it may be the work of a foreign spy who is endeavouring
to secure the recipe of British Government ale.
* * *
"A large number of army tanks have been sent to Africa," announces an
article in a daily paper. However, as the brontosaurus is supposed to
devour four of these delicacies at every meal, it is feared that unless a
great many more are sent out immediately this dainty animal may be faced
with extermination.
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