And so we sat, side by side, with mute, convulsively closed lips,
clasping one another's hand, the tears rolling silently drop by drop
over our cheeks, both knowing that they were for him.
'As we neared Schifanoja I dried my eyes, and she did the same, each
striving to hide her own weakness.
'He was standing in the hall with Delfina and Muriella looking out for
us. Why did I feel a sudden vague distrust of him, as if some instinct
warned me of hidden danger? What troubles are in store for me in the
future? Shall I be able to escape from the passion that attracts and
blinds me?
'And yet, those few tears have given me much relief! I feel less broken,
less scorched, more self-confident; and it affords me an indescribable
fond pleasure to retrace again, for myself alone, that last drive, while
Delfina sleeps, made happy by the storm of kisses I rained upon her
face, and while the moon that so lately saw me weep smiles sadly through
the window panes.
'_October 8th._--Did I sleep last night--did I wake? I could not say.
Through my brain, like thick dark shadows, flitted terrifying thoughts,
insupportable images of torment; and my heart gave sudden throbs and
bounds, and I would find myself staring wide-eyed into the darkness, not
knowing whether I had just awakened from a dream or whether I had never
been asleep at all.
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