At
nine he had read widely. In 1875 he suffered from religious doubts, and
even lost his faith in humanity, but his violin and Nature were still of
unfailing support even in this crisis. Before her death his mother had
placed him in the second Cadet Corps as a "pensionnaire." At first he
did well, but soon he began to neglect his school work for poetry. A
poem of his soon appeared in print, and that same year he fell in love
with a girl of sixteen who died with rapid consumption; the M.D.B. of
his poems. Smitten by this blow, he left the school and went to the
Pawlonische Military School. Here he contracted a lung trouble and was
sent to the Caucas. He remained there a year, but was always haunted by
thought of the military career before him, for which he was morally and
physically unfit. His dear dream of the University could not be
realized, and on his return he went again to the military school for two
years of camp life and maneuvres. In September, 1882, he was made second
lieutenant of a Caspian regiment and stationed at Kronstadt. Already the
young poet was making himself known through the journals, and in 1884 he
left off his hated military service. For a short time he was connected
with _Die Woche_, but already signs of tuberculosis had appeared and he
found that a journey abroad was indispensable. On the funds raised by
influential friends, and the prize awarded him by the Russian Literary
Society, he was enabled to go abroad this same year, accompanied by a
friend of his mother.
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