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Kettle, T. M. (Thomas Michael), 1880-1916

"The Open Secret of Ireland"

" I make no apology
for conveying it from him.
"One cannot help recalling the memory of Pooh-Bah, 'Lord
High-Everything-Else' of the Mikado of Japan. Who forgets the
memorable scene between him and Ko-Ko, the Lord High Executioner,
on an occasion of supreme importance?
_Ko-Ko_. Pooh-Bah, it seems that the festivities in connection with
my approaching marriage must last a week. I should like to do it
handsomely, and I want to consult you as to the amount I ought to
spend upon them.
_Pooh-Bah_. Certainly. In which of my capacities? As First Lord of
the Treasury, Lord Chamberlain, Attorney-General, Chancellor of the
Exchequer, Privy Purse, or Private Secretary?
_Ko-Ko_. Suppose we say as Private Secretary.
_Pooh-Bah_. Speaking as your Private Secretary, I should say that
as the city will have to pay for it, don't stint yourself; do it
well.
_Ko-Ko_. Exactly--as the city will have to pay for it. That is your
advice?
_Pooh-Bah_. As Private Secretary.


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