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Hawthorne, Nathaniel, 1804-1864

"A Select Party"

As a suitable homage to
his incalculable antiquity and eminent distinction, the post of
honor was at first tendered to the Oldest Inhabitant. He, however,
eschewed it, and requested the favor of a bowl of gruel at a side
table, where he could refresh himself with a quiet nap. There was
some little hesitation as to the next candidate, until Posterity
took the Master Genius of our country by the hand and led him to the
chair of state beneath the princely canopy. When once they beheld
him in his true place, the company acknowledged the justice of the
selection by a long thunder-roll of vehement applause.
Then was served up a banquet, combining, if not all the delicacies
of the season, yet all the rarities which careful purveyors had met
with in the flesh, fish, and vegetable markets of the land of
Nowhere. The bill of fare being unfortunately lost, we can only
mention a phoenix, roasted in its own flames, cold potted birds of
paradise, ice-creams from the Milky-Way, and whip syllabubs and
flummery from the Paradise of Fools, whereof there was a very great
consumption. As for drinkables, the temperance people contented
themselves with water as usual; but it was the water of the Fountain
of Youth; the ladies sipped Nepenthe; the lovelorn, the careworn,
and the sorrow-stricken were supplied with brimming goblets of Lethe;
and it was shrewdly conjectured that a certain golden vase, from
which only the more distinguished guests were invited to partake,
contained nectar that had been mellowing ever since the days of
classical mythology.


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