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Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge), 1825-1900

"Springhaven : a Tale of the Great War"

But this,
though not arduous, had outgone his ambition, nature having gifted him
with a remarkable power of extracting nourishment from food, which is
now called assimilation. He was not a great feeder--people so blessed
seldom are--but nothing short of painful starvation would keep him lean.
He had consulted all the foremost physicians about this, and one said,
"take acids," another said, "walk twenty miles every day with two Witney
blankets on," a third said, "thank God for it, and drink before you
eat," and a fourth (a man of wide experience) bade him marry the
worst-tempered woman he knew. Then they all gave him pills to upset his
stomach; but such was its power that it assimilated them. Despairing of
these, he consulted a Quack, and received the directions which brought
him to Springhaven. And a lucky day for him it was, as he confessed for
the rest of his life, whenever any ladies asked him.
Because Miss Twemlow was intended for him by the nicest adjustment of
nature. How can two round things fit together, except superficially?
And in that case one must be upper and the other under; which is not the
proper thing in matrimony, though generally the prevailing one. But take
a full-moon and a half-moon, or even a square and a tidy triangle--with
manners enough to have one right angle--and when you have put them into
one another's arms, there they stick, all the firmer for friction. Jack
Spratt and his wife are a case in point; and how much more pointed the
case becomes when the question is not about what is on the plate, but
the gentleman is in his own body fat, and the lady in her elegant person
lean!
Mr.


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