Shanks, with some
contempt, "that the man with three ribs is the captain of the
gunners--the man in my back sitting-room? No dimity-parlour for him with
his family, not for a guinea and a half a week. But if I was to tell
you who the gentleman is, and one of the highest all round these parts,
truthful as you know me, Mrs. Cheeseman, you would say to yourself, what
a liar she is!"
"Mrs. Shanks, I never use coarse expressions, even to myself in private.
And perhaps I could tell you a thing or two would astonish you more than
me, ma'am. Suppose I should tell you, to begin with, who your guinea
lodger is?"
"That you could never do, Mrs. Cheeseman, with all your time a-counting
changes. He is not of the rank for a twopenny rasher, or a wedge of
cheese packed in old petticoat."
These two ladies now looked at one another. They had not had a quarrel
for almost three months, and a large arrear of little pricks on either
side was pending. Sooner or later it would have to be fought out (like
a feud between two nations), with a houseful of loss and woe to either
side, but a thimbleful of pride and glory. Yet so much wiser were these
women than the most sagacious nations that they put off to a cheaper
time their grudge against each other.
"His rank may be royal," said the wife of Mr. Cheeseman, "though a
going-downhill kind of royalty, perhaps, and yet he might be glad, Mrs.
Shanks, to come where the butter has the milk spots, and none is in the
cheese, ma'am.
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