He attempted to break
in the door, when A. called to me, and hearing a man in the room
he went away, saying, as he went downstairs: "Oh, A.! Oh, A.!"
as if he thought she would not have done such a thing. He never
molested us after that night.
I think it was my intention, at first, to break off with A.
gradually. I found, however, I could not keep away from her, and
it commenced to be evident to me that a bachelor's life in
lodgings again would be dreary and lonely. And all this time the
fear that I had offended God troubled me more than I have said,
and it occurred to me (there may have been a touch of sophistry
in this, or not) that if I were a true husband to her for the
future--stuck to her and worked for her for the rest of my
days--perhaps it would find favor in God's sight and be an
atonement for my sin. Had she been free I would have married her,
I believe. But she began to be harassed by her mother and
bothered about my incessantly coming there and staying all night.
It ended in my telling her I would be a husband to her, and she
came and lived with me at my lodgings. We had one room and our
meals cost us sixpence each.
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