It was nearly a year later that I experienced the first
unmistakable manifestations of the sexual impulse--erections
accompanied by lustful feeling and vague desires of whose proper
satisfaction I had no notion whatever. It never occurred to me to
associate my experiences with the servant girl with these new
sensations. The peculiar fact about them was that they were
generally occasioned by the infliction of pain upon animals. I do
not remember how I first discovered that they could be evoked in
this way, but I can clearly recollect many of my efforts to
arouse this pleasurable excitement by abusing the dog or the
cats, or by prodding the calves with a nail set in the end of a
broom handle. I seldom manipulated my genitals at this time, and
when I did it was for the purpose of causing sexual excitement
rather than allaying it.
During this same year I got my first idea of sexual intercourse
by watching animals copulate; but my powers of observation must
have been limited, for I supposed that the penis of the male
entered the anus of the female. In watching the coitus of animals
I experienced lively sexual excitement and lustful sensations,
located not only in the genitals, but apparently in the anus as
well.
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