Since, however, I failed,
in spite of persistent effort, to produce any such pleasant
results as I had expected, I soon gave up my attempts for other
kinds of amusement.
A few months after this, in midsummer, a very sensual servant
girl began a series of attempts to satisfy herself sexually with
my help. She came nearly every day into the loft where I was
playing and did her best to initiate me into the mysteries of
sexual relationships, but I proved a sorry pupil. She would rub
my penis until it became erect and then, placing me upon her,
would insert the penis in her vulva and make movements of her
thighs and hips calculated to cause friction. At times she varied
the program by lying upon me and embracing me passionately. I can
remember distinctly her quick, gasping breath and convulsive
movements. She generally ended the seance by persuading me to
perform cunnilingus upon her. None of these performances were
intelligible to me and I invariably protested against being
compelled to leave my play to amuse her. Even her fondling of my
genitals annoyed me; and, stranger still, I preferred satisfying
her by cunnilingus to the attempts at coitus.
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