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Ellis, Havelock, 1859-1939

"Erotic Symbolism; The Mechanism of Detumescence; The Psychic State in Pregnancy"

In reading a novel I seldom have a mental
picture of the character or situation, but easily imagine the
sensations (except the visual) and feel something of the emotions
described. When telling of any event I have a strong impulse to
make the movements described and to gesticulate. I remember
events in terms of movements and the words to be used in giving
an account of them; and in thinking of any subject I can feel the
movements of the larynx and, in a less degree, of the lips and
tongue that would be involved in putting my thoughts into words.
I am easily moved to emotion, even to sentimentality, but am
seldom if ever deeply affected and am so averse to any display of
my feelings that I have the reputation among my acquaintances of
being cold, unfeeling and unemotional. I am naturally quiet and
bashful to a degree, which has rendered all forms of social
intercourse painful through much of my life, and this in spite of
a real longing to associate with people on terms of intimacy. As
a child I was sensitive and solitary; later I became morbid as
well. In a character so constituted the feelings and impulses of
the moment are likely to rule, and such has been my constant
experience, though a large element of obstinacy in my character
has kept me from appearing impulsive, and slight influences will
bring about reactions which seem out of all proportion to their
cause.


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