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Ellis, Havelock, 1859-1939

"Erotic Symbolism; The Mechanism of Detumescence; The Psychic State in Pregnancy"




APPENDIX.
HISTORIES OF SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT.
HISTORY I.--The following narrative has been written by a
university man trained in psychology:--
So far as I have been able to learn, none of my ancestors for at
least three generations have suffered from any nervous or mental
disease; and of those more remote I can learn nothing at all. It
appears probable, then, that any peculiarities of my own sexual
development must be explained by reference to the somewhat
peculiar environment.
I was the first child and was, naturally, somewhat spoiled--a
process which tended to increase my natural tendency to
sentimentality. On the other hand, I was shy and undemonstrative
with all except my nearest relatives, and with them as well after
my seventh or eighth year. And here it may be well to describe my
"mental type," as this is probably the most important factor in
determining the direction of one's mental development. Of mental
types the "visual" is, of course, by far the most common, but in
my own case visual imagery was never strong or vivid, and has
constantly grown weaker. The dominant part has been played by
tactual, muscular and organic sensations, placing me as one of
the "tactual motor" type, with strong "verbal motor" and
"organic" tendencies.


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