That I was guilty of licentiousness and loved boys
sexually first became clear to me later on, when I knew the
significance of erection as a sign of sexual excitement.
"No one can imagine with what demoniacal joy I am possessed at
the thought of a beautiful naked boy whose abdomen is filled as
the result of long abstinence from stool. The thought powerfully
excites me, a flood of passion goes through my blood and my limbs
tremble. I would never grow tired of feeling that belly and
looking at it. My passion would express itself in tempestuous
caresses, and the boy would have to assume various positions in
order to show off the beauty of his form, i.e., to bring the
parts in question into better view. To observe defecation would
still further increase this peculiar enjoyment. If the boy's
bowels were not sufficiently filled I would feed him with all
sorts of food which produces much excrement, such as potatoes,
coarse bread, etc. If possible I would seek to delay defecation
for two or three days, so that it might be as copious as
possible. When at last it occurred it would be an unspeakable joy
for me to watch the faeces--which would have to be fairly
firm--emerging from the anus.
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