No immorality
angers me more than the foolish practice of ladies who in society
neglect the satisfaction of their natural needs from misplaced
motives of modesty. On a railway journey I suffer horribly from
the thought that one of my fellow-travelers may be prevented from
fulfilling some imperative natural necessity.
"I naturally devote the greatest attention to my own digestion.
With painful conscientiousness I go to stool every day at the
same hour; if the operation does not come off to my satisfaction
I feel not so much physical as mental discomfort. To this quite
useful hygienic interest became associated at puberty a sensual
interest. Since my fourteenth year I have had no greater
enjoyment than to defecate undressed (I do not do so now) after
having first carefully examined the distension of my abdomen. In
summer I would go into the woods, undress myself in a secluded
spot and indulge in the voluptuous pleasures of defecation. I
would sometimes combine with this a bath in a stream. I would
exhaust my imagination in the effort to invent specially
enjoyable variations, longed for a desert island where I could go
about naked, fill my body with much nourishing food, hold in the
excrement as long as possible and then discharge it in some
subtly-thought-out spot.
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