But you are not pessimistic. You have superior
abilities, for they are intuitively intellectual. There is a cold
reticence which restrains generous impulses and which inclines to
acquisitiveness; it will make you deliberate, inventive, adding
self-esteem, some vanity.'
"At an early age I was left much alone in the nursery and there
contracted the habit of masturbation long before the age of
puberty. I use the word 'masturbation' for want of a better,
though it may not quite describe my case. I have never used my
hand to the penis. As far back as I can remember I have had what
a Frenchman has described as 'le fetichisme de la chaussure,' and
in those early days, before I was 6 years old, I would put on my
father's boots, taken from a cupboard at hand, and then tying or
strapping my legs together would produce an erection, and all the
pleasurable feelings experienced, I suppose, by means of
masturbation. I always did this secretly, but couldn't tell why.
I continued this practice on and off all my boyhood and youth.
When I discovered the first emission I was much surprised. I
always did this thing without loosening my trousers.
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