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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Back to Methuselah"

Do you realize
that you are already shewing grave symptoms of that very distressing and
usually fatal complaint?
THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. Certainly not, madam. I am fortunately in no
danger of contracting it. I am quite accustomed to converse intimately
and at the greatest length with the most distinguished persons. If you
cannot discriminate between hay fever and imbecility, I can only say
that your advanced years carry with them the inevitable penalty of
dotage.
THE WOMAN. I am one of the guardians of this district; and I am
responsible for your welfare--
THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. The Guardians! Do you take me for a pauper?
THE WOMAN. I do not know what a pauper is. You must tell me who you are,
if it is possible for you to express yourself intelligibly--
THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [_snorts indignantly_]!
THE WOMAN [_continuing_]--and why you are wandering here alone without a
nurse.
THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN [_outraged_] Nurse!
THE WOMAN. Shortlived visitors are not allowed to go about here without
nurses. Do you not know that rules are meant to be kept?
THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN.


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