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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Back to Methuselah"

I knew
him.
BURGE-LUBIN [_depressed_] Ah! But he died.
THE ARCHBISHOP. No.
BURGE-LUBIN [_hopefully_] Do you mean to say he is still alive?
THE ARCHBISHOP. No. He was shot. Under the influence of his belief that
he was going to live three hundred years he became a changed man. He
began to tell people the truth; and they disliked it so much that they
took advantage of certain clauses of an Act of Parliament he had himself
passed during the Four Years War, and had purposely forgotten to repeal
afterwards. They took him to the Tower of London and shot him.
_The apparatus rings._
CONFUCIUS [_answering_] Yes? [_He listens_].
A WOMAN'S VOICE. The Domestic Minister has called.
BURGE-LUBIN [_not quite catching the answer_] Who does she say has
called?
CONFUCIUS. The Domestic Minister.
BARNABAS. Oh, dash it! That awful woman!
BURGE-LUBIN. She certainly is a bit of a terror. I don't exactly know
why; for she is not at all bad-looking.
BARNABAS [_out of patience_] For Heaven's sake, don't be frivolous.
THE ARCHBISHOP. He cannot help it, Mr Accountant General.


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