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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Back to Methuselah"

I married the daughter of one of the
brothers.
BARNABAS. Do you mean to say you claim to be a connection of mine?
THE ARCHBISHOP. I claim nothing. As I have by this time perhaps three or
four million cousins of one degree or another, I have ceased to call on
the family.
BURGE-LUBIN. Gracious heavens! Four million relatives! Is that
calculation correct, Confucius?
CONFUCIUS. In China it might be forty millions if there were no checks
on population.
BURGE-LUBIN. This is a staggerer. It brings home to one--but
[_recovering_] it isnt true, you know. Let us keep sane.
CONFUCIUS [_to the Archbishop_] You wish us to understand that the
illustrious ancestors of the Accountant General communicated to you a
secret by which you could attain the age of three hundred years.
THE ARCHBISHOP. No. Nothing of the kind. They simply believed that
mankind could live any length of time it knew to be absolutely necessary
to save civilization from extinction. I did not share their belief: at
least I was not conscious of sharing it: I thought I was only amused by
it.


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