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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Back to Methuselah"


BURGE-LUBIN. How can you catch him when he is dead? Youre mad.
BARNABAS. Dead! Who said he was dead?
BURGE-LUBIN. You did. Drowned.
BARNABAS [_exasperated_] Will you listen to me? Was old Archbishop
Haslam, the present man's last predecessor but four, drowned or not?
BURGE-LUBIN. I don't know. Look him up in the Encyclopedia Britannica.
BARNABAS. Yah! Was Archbishop Stickit, who wrote Stickit on the Psalms,
drowned or not?
BURGE-LUBIN. Yes, mercifully. He deserved it.
BARNABAS. Was President Dickenson drowned? Was General Bullyboy drowned?
BURGE-LUBIN. Who is denying it?
BARNABAS. Well, wave had moving pictures of all four put on the screen
today for this American; and they and the Archbishop are the same man.
Now tell me I am mad.
BURGE-LUBIN. I do tell you you are mad. Stark raving mad.
BARNABAS. Am I to believe my own eyes or am I not?
BURGE-LUBIN. You can do as you please. All I can tell you is that _I_
don't believe your eyes if they cant see any difference between a live
archbishop and two dead ones. [_The apparatus rings, he holds the button
down_].


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