BURGE-LUBIN. Oh, bother! You may be right in these little details; but
in the large we have managed to hold our own as a great race. Well,
people who could do nothing couldnt have done that, you know.
CONFUCIUS. I did not say you could do nothing. You could fight. You
could eat. You could drink. Until the twentieth century you could
produce children. You could play games. You could work when you were
forced to. But you could not govern yourselves.
BURGE-LUBIN. Then how did we get our reputation as the pioneers of
liberty?
CONFUCIUS. By your steadfast refusal to be governed at all. A horse that
kicks everyone who tries to harness and guide him may be a pioneer of
liberty; but he is not a pioneer of government. In China he would be
shot.
BURGE-LUBIN. Stuff! Do you imply that the administration of which I am
president is no Government?
CONFUCIUS. I do. _I_ am the Government.
BURGE-LUBIN. You! You!! You fat yellow lump of conceit!
CONFUCIUS. Only an Englishman could be so ignorant of the nature of
government as to suppose that a capable statesman cannot be fat, yellow,
and conceited.
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