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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Back to Methuselah"


BURGE-LUBIN. Precisely. That great Englishman Simon de Montfort--
CONFUCIUS. He was not an Englishman: he was a Frenchman. He imported
parliaments from France.
BURGE-LUBIN [_surprised_] You dont say so!
CONFUCIUS. The king and his loyal subjects killed Simon for forcing his
French parliament on them. The first thing British parliaments always
did was to grant supplies to the king for life with enthusiastic
expressions of loyalty, lest they should have any real power, and be
expected to do something.
BURGE-LUBIN. Look here, Confucius: you know more history than I do, of
course; but democracy--
CONFUCIUS. An institution peculiar to China. And it was never really a
success there.
BURGE-LUBIN. But the Habeas Corpus Act!
CONFUCIUS. The English always suspended it when it threatened to be of
the slightest use.
BURGE-LUBIN. Well, trial by jury: you cant deny that we established
that?
CONFUCIUS. All cases that were dangerous to the governing classes were
tried in the Star Chamber or by Court Martial, except when the prisoner
was not tried at all, but executed after calling him names enough to
make him unpopular.


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