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Shaw, George Bernard, 1856-1950

"Back to Methuselah"

It is you who are always treating me with the
grossest want of consideration.
BURGE-LUBIN. What have I done now?
BARNABAS. You have put me down to go to the Record Office today to
receive that American fellow, and do the honors of a ridiculous cinema
show. That is not the business of the Accountant General: it is the
business of the President. It is an outrageous waste of my time, and an
unjustifiable shirking of your duty at my expense. I refuse to go. You
must go.
BURGE-LUBIN. My dear boy, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to
take the job off your hands--
BARNABAS. Then do it. Thats all I want [_he is about to switch off_].
BURGE-LUBIN. Dont switch off. Listen. This American has invented a
method of breathing under water.
BARNABAS. What do I care? I don't want to breathe under water.
BURGE-LUBIN. You may, my dear Barnabas, at any time. You know you never
look where you are going when you are immersed in your calculations.
Some day you will walk into the Serpentine. This man's invention may
save your life.
BARNABAS [_angrily_] Will you tell me what that has to do with your
putting your ceremonial duties on to my shoulders? I will not be trifled
[_he vanishes and is replaced by the blank screen_]--
BURGE-LUBIN [_indignantly holding down his button_] Dont cut us off,
please: we have not finished.


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